I’ve officially spent my last morning as as not-twenty-something lady. It was a pretty mundane one, like most mornings. I woke up feeling slightly confused as to how a year of my life flew by so fast. I can vividly recall the day before my birthday last year. Isn’t life queer sometimes? You’re anxious about the future in the present and when that time frame becomes the past you worry that you didn’t do enough.
As a continuation of a personal tradition I begun in 2018, today was spent in part reminiscing on the highlights and low lights of the past year, and envisioning what I want this imminent one to look. One good reason I like to sit back and take stock of a particular time frame, a year in this case, is because it helps me be intentional about thanksgiving.
I have learnt so much, and I know there is still much more learning and unlearning to do. Most especially, I’ve learnt about love this year. God’s love for me. Loving God. Loving myself & loving others.
Love at its core, is an action word. Love demands you to step out of your bubble of comfort and act.
I don’t even have words amazing enough to describe His love. 1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t do Him justice, it’s merely scratching the surface. He Is love. He just Is.
The love we can accept from another human is only that which we think we deserve. That’s why understanding who we are is so vital. Being finally free from all unprofitable distractions, I could actually focus on falling in love with me. With knowing me. In my clearer state of mind I could deal with issues and ideas that were holding me back. I am not done with this journey, don’t think I will ever be. Our journey on earth is essentially a revolution of discovery and rediscovery.
If it takes so much effort for you, an imperfect person, to love yourself, how much so another, or a global bunch, of imperfect people? Then becoming friends with them and trusting another? That’s another train on it’s own. It takes time, sacrifice, and the willingness to put your personal bias aside. Love does not entail you being a fan of every single thing another person does, it however requires you to respect them and treat them with kindness regardless. It is not easy to love as God would have us love, but we can do it with His help. Cliché, yes I know, but true.
Days usually tend to go by pretty fast, turning into weeks, weeks into months, and sometimes we can get so caught up in the motions that we lose our heart of gratitude. The temporary frustration clouds our eyes and all we can see is unfulfilled promises, taking for granted all the times God came through. He stayed faithful even at times when the last thing we wanted to do was to be faithful. He took us from where we were and is taking us where He wants us to be. He is a good father, He hasn’t left you and never will. Don’t let your situation tell you otherwise.
In a few minutes the clock will chime twelve and the celebration of the day of my birth will begin. The next 365 days is coming with a lot of good change, I can feel it. I do not know all the future holds but I know this:God is with me. That’s more than alright.
Thank you for reading! I’m more than grateful and humbled by your surport.
(P. S: one of my goals/projections for this year was having a medium where I would write regularly. Look where we are. God is truly good.)