WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE?

If you saw the title of this post and have asked this question at some point to yourself, to God, or to others, I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Maybe there are some people on this planet who have this clear-cut

idea of how their life is going to go and what they will do all the days of their lives. Must be nice, because I am not one of those people. There are days where I’m alone in my thoughts, wondering why and how I got here, and trying to “figure out” what’s next for me. From when I could remember I had always wanted to be a doctor, I didn’t have any other profession in mind, no Plan B, medicine was my plan A-Z. I remember filling this form in primary school and they asked why I chose that future profession, and I wrote down:”because I want to help people“. I was so excited about that (still am though). Sometime in secondary school I decided that I was going to do Pediatrics (branch of medicine that deals with the diseases of children and their care) because I just felt that it was so interesting and babies were so cute (lol). I thought I had life all figured out.

As I write this right now, I am in my fifth year in medical school (Yayyyyy! Glory to God!!) and I would be lying if I said that I have an idea of what I will be doing in five years. I’m not sure if I will end up practising full-time or what specialty I’m gonna to do, and at the point I realized this I started to really worry, and sometimes I was scared. My worst fear in life is (or rather, was) being in a place in life and realising that I wasn’t happy or fulfilled. I have asked myself countless times whether I chose the right course, whether I was doing the right thing. I’m using my work life as an example but it also cut across to every other area of my life.

Unless you’re some form of soothsayer, you don’t know what’s going to happen in your life too or where you will be ten years from now. You probably have plans and ideas, but it’s unlikely that you’ve got it down to the details. Maybe you don’t have the slightest clue what you’re going to do with your life. Or maybe it’s a mix of both scenarios. In general, the thought of the future brings uncertainty, and uncertainty can breed WORRY and FEAR. They’re sort of intertwined actually. As easy as it is to worry or get afraid immediately the thought comes up, these emotions are actually very unbeneficial. They do not change the outcome of any situation, if anything they can make it worse. For example, imagine being scared of the rain, it will still fall no matter how scared you are, and it won’t fall less because you’re afraid. Fear won’t take the future farther away.

I’ve chosen to not worry or be afraid about what my future holds anymore. Want to know why? I know the One who created me and knows my future and has promised me that His plans for me are good (Jeremiah 29:11), and I choose to trust Him. I’m not going to allow worry take up spaces in my heart that joy should be filling. It just makes sense to trust the only person who has seen my future before. He is the beginning and the end, and He has definitely gone before me. God sees the big picture, I only see in fragments. He knows what’s best for me more than I know what’s best for me (Ephesians 3:20). After making this decision, my outlook on my life changed. I’m much calmer when I think about the future, because I know that no matter what, through it all, God is and will always be on my side, and I will be good. That’s all I need.

Everything really does work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose(Romans 8:28), so no matter your course or stage in life it will all work out for your good in the end. I believe that nothing is by coincidence, you are at this point in your life for a reason. Even if you think that nothing is happening, there is a purpose for that season, and every season after that. So today, choose to stop letting fear and worry rule in your life, stop trying to figure it all out because you honestly can’t. Instead, decide to open up your worries to God (1 Peter 5:7), give them all to Him, and receive His peace. Trust God (Proverbs 3:5-6), trust His leading, and follow it, and you will never be led astray.

This is a bit long, sorry. Thank you for reading😃.